


so you wanna be immortal (with a loaded gun)

by patrichor



Series: c!dream gets beat UP [6]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Badass Foolish_Gamers, Found Family, Gen, God Complex, Identity Reveal, Unreliable Narrator, if foolish going surprise i'm a god counts, in reference to tommy, literally dream says some shit and gets roasted idk what else to tag, prison arc spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrichor/pseuds/patrichor
Summary: “I control life and death! I’ve broken through to the afterlife, and it’s me who chooses if someone gets to come back or not! I’ve conquered death! I’m- I’m a god!”And Foolish’s brow had furrowed as the other spoke, but in the horrified silence that follows the last declaration, he can’t help the laughter that spills out of him.or, Dream declares himself a god. His adopted brother Foolish, an actual god, decides it's time to set the record straight.
Relationships: Foolish_Gamers & Clay | Dream, Foolish_Gamers & Clay | Dream & Cara | CaptainPuffy
Series: c!dream gets beat UP [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112075
Comments: 35
Kudos: 258





	so you wanna be immortal (with a loaded gun)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [ocean waves, lighting crackles and the dance with death](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973483) by [karmicpunishment](https://archiveofourown.org/users/karmicpunishment/pseuds/karmicpunishment). 



> so foolish has been canonically confirmed a god, and he and dream have canonically confirmed to have both been adopted by puffy....
> 
> i found that out and then looked at dream calling himself a god and i was like i just want this bitch to get laughed off the stage by an actual god for daring to claim to be one of them
> 
> so here we are
> 
> also i'm a bit gentler to dream than i normally would be? don't get me wrong i have not softened to this green bastard in the slightest, but i'm writing foolish and as far as i can tell he seems pretty compassionate... like he's the only one besides maybe quackity (unclear, quackity lore stream when??) to recognize that the eggpire people are doing this stuff because they've been mind controlled, not because they woke up and chose violence. add to that him and dream being family... idk he's just a little bit gentler than say sam or wilbur would be

As Dream stands exultant before a dumbstruck audience, arms spread wide as he relishes their fearful gazes, Foolish watches from the back of the field with an unreadable expression. The 23-foot tall living statue has no trouble seeing over the heads of those gathered, and he shakes his head slowly.  _ Oh, Dream. Little duck, how far you’ve fallen. _

“Don’t you get it?” Dream is shouting now, gleefulness twisting the visible parts of his face into something unrecognizable. He gestures toward the blond teen being held in green-clad arms, and doesn’t hesitate even when the woman he used to respect more than anything moves to stand between them and block his view, drawing her sword. “I  _ control _ life and death! I’ve broken through to the afterlife, and it’s me who chooses if someone gets to come back or not! I’ve conquered death! I’m- I’m a  _ god _ !”

And Foolish’s brow had furrowed as the other spoke, but in the horrified silence that follows the last declaration, he can’t help the laughter that spills out of him. Dream looks at him with something cold and furious in his eyes, and those gathered to stand against him turn to watch the wheezing statue with varying levels of concern and apprehension.

“Are you not understanding?” Dream demands, face twisting in a sneer. “I could kill you and it would be up to me if you came back or not, Foolish! Is that somehow not computing?”

Foolish finally straightens from where he’s doubled over cackling, laughter dying down as he carelessly flicks a tear from below his eyes with a single finger. He doesn’t have tear ducts. It’s entirely for the sake of showcasing how unimpressed he is, and from the rage on the other’s face he knows Dream knows it.

He sighs, a few last snickers escaping before he fully composes himself. “You want to call yourself a god, do you. Just because you can do a bit of resurrection?”

He still smiles, but something dangerous lurks beneath. “Child’s play, little duck. In fact, if I’m being quite honest, literal children have impressed me far more than this. Nothing against you, of course, it’s all just a bit… underwhelming.”

Dream is too angry to recognize the warning in his words, Foolish knows, but he gives it anyway. “You know nothing of gods, Dream. Don’t assume yourself to have some kind of importance in this world.”

“Oh, and you do?” Dream snaps, his patience quickly thinning. His temper rises faster as Foolish merely smiles placidly back at him, blinding him to the danger lurking behind carved emerald eyes. “You just left for the desert to build things as soon as you got here, what do you know about everything that’s been going on?”

“I don’t need to know the fine details of a situation to be able to tell when you’re full of shit.” Foolish returns, tone light as if engaging in small talk at teatime. “Calling yourself a god, claiming power over life and death, when all you’ve done is resurrect someone? It’s a little sad, if I’m being honest. At least the other people I’ve seen reach for godhood had accomplished  _ something _ impressive.”

Dream splutters. “Something imp- what are you  _ talking _ about? What the hell is wrong with you? I killed someone and brought him back just because I could! How is that anything less than godlike?!”

Foolish sighs and straightens to his full height, taking a step forward as the crowd slides back before him like a sea parting. “Would you care for my honesty, little duck?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Nothing you’ve done has been very impressive.”

Dream is stunned for a moment before it sparks into fury, but Foolish is already speaking again before he has a chance to do more than stare with an open mouth.

“You built a server, which is something anyone can learn to do. Then some people decided they didn’t have to listen to you, and you’ve been throwing a fit about it ever since.” His voice grows colder as he speaks, a faint buzzing starting to gather on its edge. “They didn’t want to be subservient, and your pride couldn’t handle that. So you hired traitors and manipulated, undermined, and isolated those people for daring to have the audacity to  _ tell you no. _ ”

“They had no RIGHT-” Dream is cut off by a rumble of thunder, coming from perfectly clear skies. Foolish tilts his head slightly, expression unreadable, and continues in the space provided by Dream’s surprise.

“Do you know what all this has been about, Dream? Control. Because you’re terrified, so you scrabble in the dirt for every bit of power you can get your grubby fingers on. You crave control over everything around you, because you fear it all.”

He takes another step closer, voice still deceptively even. “Does that sound like a god, Dream? Cowering in the dirt, scrounging for scraps of power and posturing as if I have anything to fear from you? As if anyone here has anything to fear from you?”

Another step. “I felt it, Dream, when you killed the boy. And I felt it when you brought him back. You can hide nothing from me, not about this. Would you like to know why?”

Dream instinctively falls back a step as Foolish moves closer, fury twisting his partially masked face into something unrecognizable. “Why?” He snarls finally, when it becomes clear Foolish is waiting for a response.

Foolish’s smile gains a dangerous edge to it, one that Dream has never seen in all their years as brothers. “Because, little duck, there is only one god in this family, and it’s certainly not you.”

The glow of his eyes dims as he closes them, and he spreads his arms slightly from his sides with his palms outward. Thunder rumbles again, closer this time, and the wind starts to pick up. Strangely, Foolish, despite being in the center of the bluster, is completely unaffected as his clothing remains still.

“Long before I was called Foolish, I had another name. Long before I was a totem of undying, I was a totem of death. God of the ocean, with power over the skies. I know more about the afterlife than you could ever comprehend. I have seen more than you could ever imagine, little duck. You have no idea how vast the universe is, how little anything you do will ever matter.”

Then his eyes open, and the green glow has changed. No longer light green with hints of gold, it’s darkened and ancient and threatening. “I do.” His voice reverberates, something dark stirring within and echoing itself. He keeps stepping steadily forward, lightning arcing from the sky to strike around him in blinding flashes. And still, the living statue does not falter.

“I have seen empires fall and kingdoms burn, I have drowned entire civilizations. I have walked in worlds you could never understand, worlds that would drive your human mind to destruction with the mere reality of their existence. I have lived for a long, long time, and I have seen enough to shatter your mind if you tried to catch even a glimpse. When you compare yourself to a god…  _ you insult me. _ ”

Dream is stumbling back now, terror visible in his eyes as lightning strikes around him, caging him in. Foolish comes to a stop and kneels, still towering over his tiny human brother. He raises a hand, and the lightning vanishes as quickly as it appears, leaving only smoldering marks to show it had ever been there.

He reaches for Dream, who flinches back and closes his eyes as if expecting to be squashed like the insect he is compared to Foolish. Instead, a large metal hand gently takes hold of his collar and lifts him.

“I am not going to kill you.” Foolish says calmly. “But I will not let you hurt anyone else. You’ve caused far too much harm to this world and these people already, little duck. It’s time for this to end.”

He turns and begins to stride back through the gathered crowd, in the direction he had come, his mortal brother sulking as he’s essentially carried by the scruff of his neck.

“Wait-” A voice. It’s the keeper, still sheltering the boy who has seen far too much pain in his arms. “Foolish, where are you taking him?”

“Away.” Foolish responds. “He is my family, and so I will not let him die. But I won’t let him hurt anyone else, either.”

He hears their mother’s voice speaking to the keeper, reassuring him that she’ll go with them and message him if anything goes wrong. He stands still and waits for her to hug the boy tightly and promise to come back safely and soon, and then for her to reach his side and reach up to take his free hand. He lifts her, as well, putting her on his shoulder like he always used to long ago when the three of them were still bound closely together. Before Dream had done his absolute best to sever their ties, and nearly succeeded.

Unfortunately for him, Foolish is far older and stronger than he will ever be, and he does not let go of his mortals so easily. Dream will not hurt anyone else, ever again. Foolish will not let him.

He chose his current name as a reminder. To keep in check the arrogance that it’s all too easy for gods to fall into, to make sure he remembers how fallible he really is. From now, he’ll make it a reminder for more than just him. His brother needs to remember his own weakness, just as Foolish once did. He thinks it would be hypocritical to abandon him now.

There’s just one thing he has to ensure.

“Try to go back,” He says, face as hardened as the metal his body is made from. “Try to do anything else to the people there, and I won’t intervene for you again.”

He feels Dream glance sidelong at him. They both know what he’s referring to. Dream lost his first life when he was young, before Puffy had adopted them. Foolish has shown mercy once, and it only led to more pain for those least deserving. He won’t make that mistake again.

He will not kill his brother, but if Dream continues on the path he was on, Foolish will not save him either.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm very much not confident in this ending skfbh,,, i was worried it looked too much like me leaving room for a redemption arc or something and like. no. that's not what i'm here for. (not tryna insult people who write c!dream redemption arcs it's just something i stay far far away from for my own mental health,, yall do you)
> 
> anyway this was inspired by the work linked above ^^ it's super cool and karmic is a really good writer, you should check her stuff out!
> 
> this isn't exactly the vibe i was going for but to be fair i have never written foolish before so :' hopefully i'll get better at that with practice
> 
> thanks for reading! :}


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